I had it all wrong. I was thinking in terms of what a jihadi would do <-- MKULTRA programming. There's no shortage of Jihadis, I add nothing to the world by adopting that mentality.
What I realize I have to be importunate and persistent about what's going on in that rainbow flag church. Formally, I don't need any excuse to be there. Anyone on gab would suss out the enablers of the predators, but the problem of evidence, of direct proof is not as easy. It would involve risks. But there's no need for me to hurry. Once I know who the predators are... I find out who they are contacting. Young children, networks, bosses, professors. It's not something I have any professional qualification is, but the first step it quite straightforward.
This is all hypothetical, of course. That except the MK Ultra programming. They don't even need to target a man like me, simply suffuse the cultural "air" with it, and they've switched a non-violent person into a dangerous killer. That's what they can do to millions. Is it really beyond conception that it could be done to isolated people?
Quite the contrary. I think we'll find in coming years that targeted killings will become more common, waged by dysfunctional but otherwise entirely harmless men. I won't be among them because I realize, belatedly, that I was being manipulated. That my non-violence driven by love is more powerful than violence driven by some Bizarre kind of atonement - a phrase from inspector morse.